By reflecting on how these patterns operate, the three kinds of Fours can begin to have a greater awareness of how their defensive patterns surface in everyday life—and in the present moment. If Fours can consciously catch themselves in the act of focusing on what isn’t working and how they don’t measure up, they can become more aware of the ways they rationalize not opening up to love and acceptance. If they can explore the reasons why they get stuck in ambivalence, they can wake up to the deeper defensive motivations that keep them fixated in a pattern of actively not allowing in what they
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