The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

by Beatrice Chestnut

In understanding the sources of their defensive patterns and how they operate as coping strategies, Fours have the opportunity to become more aware of how and why they undermine their ability to get the love they want. If Fours can tell the story of their early life and look for ways that indentifying with a negative sense of self, getting attached to particular feelings, and focusing on what’s missing helped them to cope, they can begin to have more compassion for themselves and see how these patterns have operated to protect them. Generating insights into why they developed these patterns in the first place, and how these patterns work as defenses but also keep them stuck in their “acorn shell,” can help Fours challenge their assumptions and pave the way for a more expansive view of themselves and their ability to grow beyond the limited perspective that keeps them trapped.