The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

by Beatrice Chestnut

The Four working consciously in this way can make ready use of the tools that healthy Type Twos use: a sensitivity to the needs and preferences of others, a positive view of what’s possible in relationship, and the conscious management of feelings and needs in light of the feelings and needs of others. The Two stance of adapting to please others can help Fours learn to be more adaptable and supportive of others in a way that also enlarges their view of their own worth and value to others. Fours can get lost in their own interior emotional worlds, but they can temper this tendency in service of their growth by reaching out more to nurture others. Finding ways to provide support and understanding to other people can be a good way for Fours to balance out their over-focus on their inner experience of lack or on a particular mood or emotional reaction. Consciously embodying an attitude of service to others can highlight Fours’ qualities of optimism, generosity, and cheerfulness—attributes that they might not always see and value in themselves. Through consciously balancing self-referencing with other-referencing, and the ability to dwell in darker feelings with the ability to be light, Fours can use the Two Point as a way to embody a more full and more whole sense of who they really are, and work against the self-deprecating tendency of their “acorn” self.