The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

by Beatrice Chestnut

Sexual Fours can travel the path from envy to equanimity by strengthening their ability to be with their own suffering without needing to externalize it or project it onto others. If you are a Sexual Four, you can grow by seeing all your emotions as equally valuable and important, whether you are feeling envious and angry or sad and vulnerable. Your tender feelings are as important to consider as your competitive impulses. For you, equanimity means recognizing the value of who you are, even if you aren’t the best or superior to anyone else. No one has to prove themselves to be the best to be worthy—we are all inherently good enough. Allow yourself to see your anger, frustration, and impatience as important clues to deeper feelings of pain that you might be experiencing or relegating to unconsciousness. By allowing yourself to experience all your feelings and remembering they are all important reflections of the emotional truth of who you are, you can develop more compassion for yourself and others and allow yourself to be more open to receiving love and acceptance from the people around you.