The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

by Beatrice Chestnut

Finally, Threes can usually work well with authorities, as long as they don’t interfere with Threes’ progress toward their goals, whereas Sixes tend to be suspicious of or rebellious toward authority figures, fearing they will use their power against them in unfair ways.

Threes and Sevens can both be charming, engaging, and attractive. Threes employ these qualities to gain people’s approval, admiration, and cooperation, and Sevens use charm as a first line of defense, to diffuse negativity, and to create an upbeat, positive mood when interacting with others.

Threes excel at focusing on and completing tasks, while Sevens can find it more difficult to maintain their focus and finish tasks because they tend to get distracted. Threes expend a lot of effort on cultivating their image and managing others’ perceptions of them, while Sevens don’t pay as much attention to gaining others’ approval through achieving a particular image.

Threes tend to be other-oriented in that they rely on others’ approval and admiration to affirm their sense of themselves, while Sevens are self-referencing, meaning that they focus more on their own internal experience, their own needs and desires, than on whether or not others approve of them.

Threes focus attention on cultivating an image of success to gain the admiration of others, while Eights do not pay much attention to their own image and how people perceive them.

Threes are skilled at ascertaining how they will impact others, while Eights have a blind spot with respect to how they impact others.

In other words, for Eights, truth is what they say it is, and for Threes, whose fixation is “deceit” or “self-deceit,” truth is relative and can be adapted to suit the circumstances.

On a basic level, Threes focus on accomplishing tasks and reaching goals; conversely, Nines focus more on maintaining comfort and harmony. Threes are fast-paced, decisive, and forward moving. Nines move at a slower pace and have a tendency to sit on the fence.

Nines have a strong dislike for being the center of attention, while most Threes enjoy being in the spotlight and may even actively seek out situations in which others notice them.

Although Fours have much more regular contact with their emotions than Fives do, both Fours and Fives can intellectualize, meaning they can focus on thinking as a way of disconnecting from feelings.

Fours represent one of the most emotional types; they have contact with their feelings on a deep level much of the time. Fives, on the other hand, are among the least emotional, habitually detaching from their feelings.

Fives usually keep their feelings to themselves and value self-sufficiency, and Fours tend to share their feelings with others and value emotionally authentic relationships.

Fives enjoy being alone and having a large amount of private time, and while Fours can also appreciate time alone, they are also sensitive to abandonment and loss, and they appreciate maintaining strong emotional connections.

In addition, Fives can easily feel drained by the needs of others, while Fours are usually very sensitive and empathic in the face of others’ needs. Finally, Fives tend to minimize their needs and desires, while Fours often dwell in an experience of desiring and longing for their needs to be met.

Fours can be nonconformist because they have original perspectives and they are oriented to depth and the authentic expression of feelings. And Sixes can rebel because they think in contrarian ways and feel unsafe with and suspicious of those who have power over them.

Fours want to stand out and be viewed as special in the eyes of others, and Sixes identify more with the underdog and the “everyman/everywoman” archetype. Fours live primarily from and in their emotions, while Sixes dwell more in their heads and are predominantly mental and analytical.

Sixes search for certainty and inevitably don’t find it or adhere to something specific out of a need for certainty. Fours mainly focus on what they don’t have that others have—often an unattainable love relationship—thinking that they can at last be happy if they can attain it.

In relating to others, both Fours and Sevens are self-referencing; that is, they both focus their attention more on their own experience as opposed to focusing primarily on others.

Both Fours and Sevens can also be sensitive to criticism, with Fours feeling criticism as an extra blow to their already diminished sense of themselves as not good enough, and Sevens experiencing it as a hurtful interruption of their youthful desire to focus on what’s positive.

Sevens tend to be relentlessly optimistic and Fours can be somewhat pessimistic, especially to the outside observer, as Fours tend to draw attention to what is missing.

Similarly, Sevens often reframe negatives into positives, while Fours can feel irritated when people tell them to “look on the bright side.” Fours have a tendency to focus on what is missing or unavailable that they would like to have or be, and this leads them to be more aware of the negative side of situations, issues, and relationships.

Lastly, Fours value authenticity and depth, while Sevens prioritize charm and a positive, fun-loving presentation (which Fours can find superficial or insincere).

Both Eights and Fours are drawn to intensity, and both types also feel things passionately, though Fours are much more likely than Eights to feel their vulnerable feelings.

Importantly, Eights dislike being vulnerable and expressing any vulnerable feelings—and regularly deny the existence of such feelings. In contrast, Fours feel vulnerable emotions on a regular basis and can even feel some degree of comfort in a true and deep experience of their vulnerability.

when in relationships, Eights typically express love through protection and power, while Fours express love through an expression of feelings and their desire for connection.

Eights focus their attention on the big picture and strategize about how to move things forward, while Fours pay more attention to the creative process and on attracting attention and being appreciated for their unique contributions.

Eights tend to misperceive the impact they have on others, while Fours are emotionally intuitive and can be highly sensitive to how they affect the people around them. In communicating, Eights tend to be direct and straightforward, while Fours express themselves more descriptively in terms of how they are experiencing something emotionally.

Both Fours and Nines can relatively easily understand other people in a deep way, Fours because they are emotionally intuitive and sensitive to the moods and feelings of others, and Nines because they can often see others’ perspectives more clearly than their own and they align with other people to create harmony.

Fours tend to feel like misfits, while Nines often have a deep underlying concern about whether or not they belong to the group.

Nines are other-referencing and Fours are self-referencing,

Fours also feel a wider range of emotions more deeply than Nines do; Nines tend to be more steady and even emotionally.

Nines are oriented to creating harmony among people, while this is much less of a priority for the Four, who may even create or contribute to discord if necessary as a way to push for authentic communication of feelings. Nines avoid conflict much of the time, while Fours can engage in conflict if necessary or may even create conflict.

Fours tend to believe that their opinions are of value and that it is important to say what they think. And Fours do not always adapt to others, regularly feeling moved to express their own disagreement or unique perspective, whereas Nines have the tendency to overadjust to others, often thinking that if they do not adapt to others, the connection between them will be broken.

Fives have a need for clear boundaries because the want to prevent intrusions and other potentially energy-draining interactions with others, while Sixes have a regular fear of being attacked or shamed in some way.

When analyzing a situation, Fives can be very objective in their analysis, as they habitually detach from emotions. Sixes, on the other hand, can have a hard time distinguishing their intuitions from their projections—they may confuse the reality of what they are perceiving with what they fear is true.

Sevens have a nonlinear way of thinking that gives them a talent for finding connections and parallels between dissimilar things, while Fives prioritize collecting and compartmentalizing information, especially about topics they have a strong interest in.

Sevens live in the future much of the time, in fantasies and plans about pleasurable activities yet to happen, while Fives don’t live in the future or think in terms of planning and play in this same way.

Sevens have a hard time making commitments because having others depend on them makes them feel constrained and limited and uncomfortable. Fives are more able to make commitments, precisely because they are so good at protecting their private space and making boundaries.

Fives and Eights can both feel and express anger if someone challenges their boundaries, but while this is one of the only situations in which Fives will openly express anger, Eights tend to become angry more frequently over a wider range of issues.

While both Eights and Fives like to be in control, Eights will take control in a more overt, active, aggressive way, while Fives tend to control things more quietly and less obviously, with less expenditure of energy.

Eights tend to move into action before they think things through, while Fives tend to think a great deal about a particular move before going into action.

When in relationships, Eights usually make it clear where they stand, while Fives can be difficult to read and may withhold information about what they are thinking and feeling, even with close others.

Nines are overly adaptive to others, while Fives are under-adaptive to others. Frequently not knowing what they want, Nines tend to avoid stating their preferences and then may later feel resentful that they went along with others and their wishes were not heard. Fives, on the other hand, almost always know what they want, and are adept at preventing others from interfering with what they want to do.

Sixes and Sevens are both quick thinkers, however, with good imaginations, though Sixes tend to imagine worst-case scenarios, while Sevens imagine highly positive scenarios.

Sevens move toward the source of fear with charm and pleasantries to disarm the fearful threat with soft power, while Sixes tend to be vigilant and watchful to see the threat coming ahead of time so they can prepare to meet it. Counter-phobic Sixes tend to move toward threatening situations with strength, while phobic Sixes withdraw from them, and Social Sixes obey one kind of authority or another as a way of coping with anxiety.

Sixes tend to have problems with authorities—they can be questioning and suspicious of authority and also rebellious and challenging of authority—while Sevens equalize authority and simply deny hierarchical power relationships, seeing themselves as being on the same level with and friendly with both superiors and subordinates.

Eights truly have little or no fear, while counterphobic Sixes act against threats to quell a deeper and ongoing sense of fear that is not always experienced consciously in the moment (but represents the “fight” part of “fight or flight”).

Eights feels relatively little fear and vulnerability, as the Eights’ approach to life is based on a denial of vulnerability and an overcompensatory confidence in their power and strength. Phobic Sixes on the other hand, feel fearful and thus vulnerable much of the time, and so they anxiously stay vigilant for threats and other dangers.

Eights can directly confront a conflictual situation, as can counterphobic Sixes, while the phobic Six would rather avoid conflict, but can engage in it if necessary or provoked.

Sixes procrastinate because they fear things will go wrong and they fear success, while Nines put off work and other tasks when they have a hard time accessing and staying with their own agendas.