Kindle Notes & Highlights
Help from without is often enfeebling in its effects, but help from within invariably invigorates. Whatever is done for men or classes, to a certain extent takes away the stimulus and necessity of doing for themselves; and where men are subjected to over-guidance and over-government, the inevitable tendency is to render them comparatively helpless.
But in all times men have been prone to believe that their happiness and well-being were to be secured by means of institutions rather than by their own conduct.
Indeed all experience serves to prove that the worth and strength of a State depend far less upon the form of its institutions than upon the character of its men.
And here it may be observed how greatly the character may be strengthened and supported by the cultivation of good habits.
Wherever formed, habit acts involuntarily, and without effort; and, it is only when you oppose it, that you find how powerful it has become.
The habit at first may seem to have no more strength than a spider’s web; but, once formed, it binds as with a chain of iron.
Hence, as Mr. Lynch observes, “the wisest habit of all is the habit of care in the formation of good habits.”
Even happiness itself may become habitual.
And we possess the power, to a great extent, of so exercising the will as to direct the thoughts upon objects calculated to yield happiness and improvement rather than their opposites.
And to bring up men or women with a genial nature of this sort, a good temper, and a happy frame of mind, is perhaps of even more importance, in many cases, than to perfect them in much knowledge and many accomplishments.
One of the most marked tests of character is the manner in which we conduct ourselves towards others.
Every man may to a large extent be a self-educator in good behaviour, as in everything else; he can be civil and kind, if he will, though he have not a penny in his purse.
Morals and manners, which give colour to life, are of much greater importance than laws, which are but their manifestations.
Good manners, as we call them, are neither more nor less than good behaviour; consisting of courtesy and kindness; benevolence being the preponderating element in all kinds of mutually beneficial and pleasant intercourse amongst human beings.
The cheapest of all things is kindness, its exercise requiring the least possible trouble and self-sacrifice.
There are others who are dreadfully condescending, and cannot avoid seizing upon every small opportunity of making their greatness felt.
The True Gentleman is one whose nature has been fashioned after the highest models.
The Psalmist briefly describes him as one “that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart.”
Above all, the gentleman is truthful.
True courage and gentleness go hand in hand.
There are many tests by which a gentleman may be known; but there is one that never fails—How does he exercise power over those subordinate to him?
How does he conduct himself towards women and children? How does the officer treat his men, the employer his servants, the master his pupils, and man in every station those who are weaker than himself?
Gentleness is indeed the best test of gentlemanliness.
He will rather himself suffer a small injury, than by an uncharitable construction of another’s behaviour, incur the risk of committing a great wrong.
He will be forbearant of the weaknesses, the failings, and the errors, of those whose advantages in life have not been equal to his own.
He will not be puffed up by success, or unduly depressed by failure.
Lord Chatham has said that the gentleman is characterised by his sacrifice of self and preference of others to himself in the little daily occurrences of life.
“Chaste in his life, just in his dealings, true of his word; merciful to those that were under him, and hating nothing so much as idlenesse; in matters especially of moment, he was never wont to rely on other men’s care, how trusty or skilful soever they might seem to be, but, always contemning danger, and refusing no toyl, he was wont himself to be one (whoever was a second) at every turn, where courage, skill, or industry, was to be employed.”
