Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now

by Gordon Livingston

lessons for us all. One of the most difficult things to ascertain when confronted with a person seeking therapy is their readiness to change, their willingness to exercise the fortitude that is necessary to do so. Some people seek help for reasons other than actually changing their lives. We live in a society that has elevated complaint to a primary form of public discourse. The airwaves and courts are full of victims of this and that: childhood abuse, mistakes of others, random misfortune. Voluntary behaviors have been reclassified as illness so that sufferers can be pitied and, where possible, compensated. Not surprisingly, many of these people appear in psychiatrists’ offices expecting a sympathetic ear and medication that will relieve their feelings of distress. Often they want testimony to support lawsuits or letters to excuse them from work. They are not there to engage in the difficult process of examining their lives, taking responsibility for their feelings, deciding what they need to do to be happy—and doing it.