How to Stay Sane (The School of Life Book 18)

by Philippa Perry

Other complaints might be more tricky to hear, such as, ‘I’m sick of being the person who puts the rubbish out in this house; I want you to do it for a change.’ This complaint is expressed with a martyr-ish edge. It might have been better to phrase it as follows: ‘As I put the bins out last night, it felt to me as though I am the only person who remembers to do this. Please could you do it next time?’ The person on the receiving end may have been about to deliver the very same complaint because they feel that they are always left with this chore. Remember: the complaint is about the person making it. The best way to respond is, ‘I hear that you feel that it is you who always takes the rubbish out, and you would like to change. Thank you for telling me.’ It is best not to argue when you do this exercise. When you next do a Daily Temperature Reading, in the questions section you might say, ‘It seems to me we both feel we are doing more than our fair share of chores. Perhaps we need to work out a system or get a cleaner. What do you think?’