What always fascinates me is that once a gay man enters into stage three, his visibility in the gay community often diminishes. He is no longer a regular at the gay clubs, nor is he an active player in high gay society. He may, in fact, no longer feel the need to visit the gay ghetto. You may see him on occasion at the gym or at a political fund-raiser, but he is not a regular on the gay scene. This is unfortunate for young men, for they are unable to see the healthy progression from shame to freedom. Many younger gay men just assume that once you get older, you hide out in your house or move
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