The vicious cycle is an inability to learn from one’s mistakes in life as a result of avoiding shame. Mistakes are one of the primary causes of justifiable shame. Therefore, when a gay man in stage one or two makes a mistake, he is slow to admit it and stubbornly refuses to revisit the mistake in order to learn how he might do things better. He may employ defensive behaviors such as blaming the mistake on others, denial, and being slow or refusing to acknowledge the mistake.
