Still another way gay men avoid shame is in anonymous sex. It’s quick, easy, no ties, no names. After all, if you don’t know his name, you have a great excuse never to call or talk to him again. When a man gets to know you intimately, he becomes uniquely equipped to point out your flaws and shortcomings. By limiting yourself to brief sexual encounters with a man you know only superficially at best, you get all the goodies and none of the other stuff. It’s just quick, clean, honest fun—or so we tell ourselves. How honest can a brief encounter truly be?
