This is what is known as a process addiction—using a behavior to regulate your mood. At first, any process addiction is a choice to engage in a behavior that helps to radically shift your mood. Over time, you become dependent on the behavior, and it starts to feel like it’s out of control. Regardless of the consequences of repeating this behavior, you keep doing it to feel better. Again and again, you go do it, until you either find another way to regulate your mood or your life becomes consumed with the addiction.
