Total Forgiveness: When Everything in You Wants to Hold a Grudge, Point a Finger, and Remember the Pain - God Wants You to Lay it All Aside

by R.T. Kendall

Total forgiveness must take place in the heart or it is worthless, for “out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matt. 12:34). If we have not truly forgiven those who hurt us in our hearts, it will come out—sooner or later. But if it has indeed taken place in the heart, our words will show it. When there is bitterness, it will eventually manifest itself; when there is love, “there is nothing in him to make him stumble” (1 John 2:10). This is why reconciliation is not essential for total forgiveness. If forgiveness truly takes place in the heart, one does not need to know whether one’s enemy will reconcile. If I have forgiven him in my heart of hearts, but he still doesn’t want to speak to me, I can still have the inner victory. It may be far easier to forgive when we know that those who maligned or betrayed us are sorry for what they did, but if I must have this knowledge before I can forgive, I may never have the victory over my bitterness. Confidence toward God is ultimately what total forgiveness is all about; He is the One I want to please at the end of the day. Those who believe that they are not required to forgive unless their offender has first repented are not following Jesus’s example on the cross. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. —Luke 23:34 If Jesus had waited until His enemies felt some guilt or shame for their words and actions, He would never have forgive...