Total Forgiveness: When Everything in You Wants to Hold a Grudge, Point a Finger, and Remember the Pain - God Wants You to Lay it All Aside

by R.T. Kendall

Refusing to punish those who deserve it—giving up the natural desire to see them “get what’s coming to them”—is the essence of total forgiveness. Our human nature cannot bear the thought that someone who hurt us deeply would get away with what they have done. It seems so unfair! We want vengeance—namely, their just punishment. But the fear that they won’t get punished is the opposite of perfect love. This is why John said: There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. —1 John 4:18, emphasis added If we harbor the desire to see our enemies punished, we will eventually lose the anointing of the Spirit. But when perfect love—the love of Jesus and the fruit of the Holy Spirit—enters, the desire for our enemy to be punished leaves. Total forgiveness is refusing to punish. It is refusing to cave in to the fear that this person or those people won’t get their comeuppance—the punishment or rebuke we think they deserve. I have been intrigued by John’s assertion that fear “has to do with punishment.” Sometimes we fear that God won’t step in and give our enemies their just desserts. But if one gives in to this fear, he will be trespassing on God’s territory, and God doesn’t like that. Vindication is God’s prerogative and God’s prerogative alone. Deuteronomy 32:35 tells us, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay.” This verse is even cited twice in the New Testament (Rom. 12:19; Heb. 10:30...