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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
R.T. Kendall
Read between
October 16 - October 27, 2023
Detached forgiveness—there is a reduction in negative feelings toward the offender, but no reconciliation takes place. Limited forgiveness—there is a reduction in negative feelings toward the offender, and the relationship is partially restored, though there is a decrease in the emotional intensity of the relationship. Full forgiveness—there is a total cessation of negative feelings toward the offender, and the relationship is fully restored.
The person who gains the most from forgiveness is the person who does the forgiving.
Even if there is no reconciliation, there can still be total forgiveness. This may even apply to the forgiveness of those who are no longer alive. This forgiveness must happen in the heart, and when it does, peace emerges—with or without a complete restoration of the relationship. What matters is that the Holy Spirit is able to dwell in us ungrieved, able to be utterly Himself. The degree to which the Holy Spirit is Himself in me will be the degree to which I am like Jesus and carry out His teachings.
We all have a story to tell.
People experience real pain when they or someone they love is hurt by another person. It is often harder to forgive when the one who has been hurt is someone you love deeply, especially your child. I find it much easier to forgive what people have said or done to me personally than what they say or do to my children.
What impresses the world most is changed lives for which there is no natural explanation.
Love doesn’t erase our memories. It is actually a demonstration of greater grace when we are fully aware of what occurred—and we still choose to forgive.
One difference between grace and mercy is that grace is getting what we don’t deserve (favor), and mercy is not getting what we do deserve (justice).
It may be far easier to forgive when we know that those who maligned or betrayed us are sorry for what they did, but if I must have this knowledge before I can forgive, I may never have the victory over my bitterness.
Confidence toward God is ultimately what total forgiveness is all about; He is the One I want to please at the end of the day.
“The worst thing that can happen to a man is to succeed before he is ready.”
Delays can actually be part of God’s purpose; seemingly unanswered prayer can be as much a part of God’s will as answered prayer.
The moment finally came when Joseph revealed himself. It was the moment he dreamed of. But instead of punishing them, which he had the power to do, he wept. Filled with love, he demonstrated total forgiveness.
Fear can cause us to do silly things. Our insecurity is what causes us to want people to stand in awe of us. We become pretentious; we try to keep other people from knowing who we really are and what we are really like. Sometimes I think the most attractive thing about Jesus as a man was His unpretentiousness. Jesus did not try to create an “aura of mystique”; even common people could relate to Him.
I sometimes think guilt is one of the most painful feelings in the world. My own greatest pain over the years has been guilt—and being reminded of my own failure, especially as a parent.
There is more. By saying what he did, Joseph was also admitting that, if he had been in their shoes, he would have done what they did. He did not condemn them for what they did. He had reached an understanding of their actions. For the one who totally forgives from the heart, there is little self-righteousness. Two reasons we are able to forgive are: We see what we ourselves have been forgiven of. We see what we are capable of.
Total forgiveness is a lifelong commitment, and you may need to practice it every single day of your life until you die. No one said it would be easy.
Total forgiveness involves an additional element: praying for God’s blessings to rain on the lives of your offenders.
when I truly and totally forgive, I have crossed over into the supernatural—and have achieved an accomplishment equal to any miracle.
A person can be so full of himself—due to his own anger or ambition—that he or she hurts other people without realizing it. Never forget that you might have hurt others unwittingly; we all sin every day, and we therefore should pray daily for those we have hurt without even knowing it.
It may be that our offenders are the way they are because of bad parenting when they were children. I am sure that all of our children sooner or later will realize where we as parents have failed and will need to forgive us.
Making a choice to continue in unforgiveness shows that we aren’t sufficiently grateful for God’s forgiveness of our own sins.
if a person who is not a Christian can be motivated to forgive, even if only in a limited way, how much more should we as Christians be motivated by the Holy Spirit to forgive—totally?
Those who are most aware of their own weaknesses are most likely to be able to help others.
“Only God can help people truly forgive and go on.
Forgiving others is a lifelong commitment because: We are so often made to relive the wrong committed against us. We may feel irked that the offender is getting away with it—forever. Satan moves in to exploit our weakness in this area.
Forgiving yourself may bring about the breakthrough you have been looking for. It could set you free in ways you have never before experienced.
The irony is, the degree to which we forgive others will often be the degree to which we forgive ourselves; the degree to which we set ourselves free will often be the degree to which we forgive others.
God speaks those words to us. Let the past be past at last. Forgive yourself as well as those who have damaged you.
Let the Past Be Past The sweet consequence of not keeping a record of all wrongs is that we let go of the past and its effect on the present. We cast our care on God and rely on Him to restore the wasted years and to cause everything to turn out for good. We find ourselves, almost miraculously, accepting ourselves as we are (just as God does) with all our failures (just as God does), knowing all the while our potential to make more mistakes. God never becomes disillusioned with us; He loves us and knows us inside out.
Moses had a past. He was a murderer. (See Exodus 2:11–12.) But years later he would proclaim the eighth commandment: you shall not murder (Exod. 20:13). David had a past, but he also had a future after his shame: “Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you,” he wrote (Ps. 51:13). Jonah deliberately ran from God, but he was still used in an astonishing revival (Jon. 3). Peter’s disgrace—denying Jesus—did not abort God’s plans for him. But all these men had to forgive themselves before they could move into the ministry God had planned for them. Can you do that?
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The greater the hurt, the greater the blessing that will come with forgiveness.
The “little” sins we do that seem relatively harmless (taking a ballpoint pen from the office) only show what else we would do if we knew we would get away with it. The mild flirtation with the opposite sex is but the tip of the iceberg of what we would love to do—if we knew we wouldn’t get caught. The point is this: God knows not only the sins we have committed but also the sins of which we are capable. He knows our hearts.
consider the inner peace and the clear thinking that is closer than your fingertips, closer than the air you breathe. It is near you, even in your heart, but you are unable to experience it because of the resentment you are holding toward other people. Forgive them. Release them. Do it in your heart. Refuse those imaginary conversations that rob you of time and sleep. Think pleasant thoughts: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
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He would say, “Fear not.” Josif Tson says that there are 366 statements of “Do not fear” (or the equivalent) in the Bible—“One for every day of the year and one for leap year!” he says.
Guilt is most painful, and we can easily punish people by sending them on a “guilt trip.” Never do that. Remember that Jesus doesn’t want us to feel guilty. When we are going to be Jesus to another, then we will not want them to be angry with themselves. This is a hard one.
Praying for the one who has hurt you or let you down is the greatest challenge of all, for three reasons: You take a route utterly against the flesh. Nobody will ever know you are doing it. Your heart could break when God answers that prayer and truly blesses them as if they’d never sinned.
Jesus wants a sincere prayer from us. It is like signing your name to a document, having it witnessed, and never looking back. You are not allowed to tell the world, “Guess what I did? I have actually prayed for my unfaithful spouse to be blessed.” No. It is quiet. Only the angels witness it, but it makes God very happy.
Durability. This means that what you took on as a lifelong commitment becomes a lifestyle. The thought of turning back or praying in a different way is out of the question. It has become a habit, and it no longer seems like something extraordinary. Jackie Pullinger said, “To the spiritual person the supernatural seems natural.”
All this is done in secret, behind the scenes. Only the angels know. It is quiet intercession. You aren’t allowed to get your reward or applause from people who may think, “Oh, isn’t that lovely you would pray for your enemy like that!” No. It is a secret that must never be told. Enter into your place of prayer and shut the door behind you. “Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you” (Matt. 6:4).
Forgiveness is not total forgiveness until we bless our enemies—and pray for them to be blessed. Forgiving them is a major step; totally forgiving them has fully been achieved when we set God free to bless them. But in this, we are the first to be blessed, and those who totally forgive are blessed the most.
