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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Robert Lewis
Started reading
June 27, 2020
Team up with some dads and create a manhood weekend for your sons. This is especially powerful for boys 17 and older. Include fun and intimate discussions on what it means to be a man.
End the weekend with a challenge to your sons to pursue real manhood, and then “spike it” with a ceremony of commitment.
Conduct several specific manhood ceremonies for your son in h...
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Host a father-son Bible study on “The Pursuit of Authentic Manhood.”
More than a code of manners in war and love, Chivalry was a moral system, governing the whole of noble life. —BARBARA W. TUCHMAN, A DISTANT MIRROR
“you are what you are when no one is looking.”
First, a knight was expected to be loyal.
“Loyalty, meaning the pledged word, was chivalry’s fulcrum. … A knight who broke his oath was charged with ‘treason’ for betraying the order of knighthood.”3
the knight was expected to conduct himself l...
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to exude courage a...
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the knight was charged to win the love of women: to be roman...
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the medieval knight was required to practice genero...
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will to obey (God’s will) A work to do (according to his own unique design) A woman to love Lacking these elements, a son will flounder in adulthood;
Dr. Richard Halverson, former chaplain of the United States Senate, called “destination sickness”: … the syndrome of the man who has arrived and discovered he is nowhere. He has achieved his goals and finds they are not what he had anticipated.
Every young man needs a comprehensive view of life that begins with this fundamental proposition: True satisfaction in life is directly proportionate to one’s obedience to God.
10 biblical ideals a wise father can impart to his son. These ideals constitute the chain links in the Code of Conduct.
Loyalty “For I delight in loyalty rather than sacrifice, and in the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings” (Hosea 6:6).
Servant-leadership “Whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave” (Matthew 20:26-27).
Kindness “What is desirable in a man is his kindness”
Humility “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves”
Purity “Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe”
Honesty “Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another”
Self-discipline “Have nothing to do with worldly fables. … On the other hand, discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness; for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come”
Excellence “Do you not know that those who run in a race all run,
but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win”
Integrity “He who walks in integrity walks securely, but he who perverts his ways will be found
Perseverance “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary”
KEYS TO EFFECTIVE TRAINING
1. A father must set a godly example.
2. A father trains his page to obey God’s will by teaching spiritual truth.
3. A father trains his son to obey biblical truth by sharing stories.
The anthologies by William Bennett (The Book of Virtues and The Children’s Book of Virtues)
4. A father reinforces the will to obey through affirmation, attention, and discipline.
When a son does something right, the wise father praises his character as well as behavior; when he does something wrong, the wise father takes time to correct and instruct first, disciplining only as a last resort.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from
Different Children, Different Needs, Charles F. Boyd makes the following observation: The phrase “in the way he should go” does not refer to some prescribed path that every person should follow.
Hebrew word for “way” is derek, which literally ...
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refers to a unique inner design o...
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A WOMAN TO LOVE This third element of our Code of Conduct prepares a son to succeed in marriage. It addresses the most important earthly relationship he will have throughout the course of his life.
The knight was instructed to treat women with respect and honor.
Boys become men, and most men get married. But the quality of a marital relationship often depends upon a father’s tutelage (or lack thereof) earlier in life.
Key Moves for Presenting a Code of Conduct to a Son • First and foremost, establish a written code of conduct that you want your son to embrace before leaving home. If you need help, see my book Real Family Values
Teach your teenage son about relating to women, both socially and sexually.
Teach your son generosity. Show him what you give to the church monthly.
Protect your son in his preteen years from the negative influence of television and movies. As an adolescent, set high standards for him and yourself concerning media influences—and explain why!
Establish a work ethic in your son by tying his allowance to specific chores
Nothing grates on a man’s spirit quite like irrelevance.
The typical young male in our society invests his time and energy in a bevy of self-centered activities—his career, his pleasures, his possessions—all the while believing they will matter beyond the moment.
“conventional vision of manhood,” as I call it, has five celebrated characteristics.
it paints a one-dimensional picture, equating manhood with a “position.”
