Not Another Vampire Book (Not Another Vampire #1)
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Vlad impaled her with another scowl.
6%
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“The Vampires killed my baby sister!”  Damien roared. Clearly a sore spot for him.  Maybe it would help if she pointed out his baby sister was just a fictional plot device. Or maybe not.
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“Oh yeah.  I’m sure he’s waited for me.”  Kara rolled her eyes, meaningfully. “He hasn’t.”  Damien had no qualms about reporting that.  Perversely, he hoped that the news broke her heart and she never forgave Sir Galahad.  “He sleeps with many Vampiresses in his castle.  Sometimes at the same time.  I can supply you with names, if you’d like.”  He had spies in the Vampire ranks who kept him up to date on everything that happened there. “He has a castle?” Damn.  Perhaps he shouldn’t have mentioned that part.  “Just a small one.”
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“King Slade has waited for you, my lady. In his own way.  The scores of other women he’s pleasured were but sensual training for when he consummates his Eternal Bond with you.  They mean nothing to him.”
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“Oh gag.”  Karalynn glanced up at Damien.  “I hate how the guy’s always a sexual tyrannosaurus and the girl’s always a blushing virgin.  Doesn’t that bug you?  It perpetuates a double standard.”
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“Exactly.  Fiction.  It’s a romance novel.  You see?” “It’s vampire propaganda!”
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“Ya know, it worries me that I was more impressed with the idea of you using a sewing machine than of casting mystical spells.” “That worries me, too.”
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Her mate was a true hero.   He’d told her so himself.
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Like a Cosmo quiz, “Is He an Evil Overlord?”
33%
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Holding her prisoner forever was actually a public service.
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His usual hostages probably didn’t talk back so much.
39%
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People got kidnapped in romance novels all the time.  It wasn’t totally Damien’s fault that he was part of the system.  He didn’t know any better.
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“You’re threatening me with my own prisoner?  You’re holding my hostage hostage in order to keep me as your hostage?”
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I will save her from your vile clutches, without your help.” “No, geez, don’t do that.  Just let me give her back.”
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“Do not seek to confuse me, Witch!  I shall comply with your demands for her release.  Anything for my Eternal-One.  No price is too high to have her back in my mighty arms.” “I don’t have any demands for her release.  If you would just...” “Tomorrow, you will produce her or suffer my wrath!” “Tomorrow?  You can have her now.”
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“Slade’s in trouble!” “Good.  I hope he dies.  I believe I’ve been very clear about that.”
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Damien’s jaw got tight, his thumb tracing over the last sentence.  She’d added a heart after it.  His Beloved.  His cari.  His beautiful, odd, softhearted, innocent, sneaky, reckless mate.  Who gave him such peace.  Who he would lay down and die for without a second thought.  Who he loved more than all the other beings who’d ever existed in the history of the universe combined... …And who he now planned to horribly murder.
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“Thank the Gods you found me, my gentle pearl.  The human is a narcissist.”
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“Damien, sweetie, do you repent of your evil ways?”  Kara asked distractedly, trying to keep him engaged and conscious. “Hell no.” “Good.” 
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“I am a big enough man to say… you were wrong.  But I absolve you, for you knew no better.”
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The important thing was, he hadn’t killed any humans and he’d only taken two people prisoner, all week.  That kind of effort counted for something.