Not Another Vampire Book (Not Another Vampire #1)
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“You killed my fucking sister!”  Damien roared in what was absolutely not the novel’s usual faux Olde Time-y dialogue.  “You murdered her, you condescending son-of-a-bitch!” Kara’s mouth parted.  There was no way Tanya had written that line. None. Damien said it.
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Good boy, excersizing your free will.
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“Oh gag.”  Karalynn glanced up at Damien.  “I hate how the guy’s always a sexual tyrannosaurus and the girl’s always a blushing virgin.  Doesn’t that bug you?  It perpetuates a double standard.”
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Real
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“I’m never concerned about other men in a woman’s past.  After she’s been with me, she doesn’t remember them, anyway.”
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FANGIRLING NOISES
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“Unbelievable!  She wrote theme music into the book.”  Kara threw up her hands.  “I’ve had it.  Vlad, all that stuff I said about the tractor beam…?  Total lies.  I’d like to zap out of here now.  I can put up with the seasickness. I swear. I just want to leave.”
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“By the way, do I really remind you of that child you went to school with?” “Alex Murphy?  Nah.”  She shrugged dismissively. “You’re much hotter than he was.”  She hesitated.  “Do people use the word ‘hot’ like that in 1892?  Probably not, but with this book it’s just one more anachronism for the pile.” “I understand the meaning.”  Damien rumbled. Damn, but he loved hearing the truth when it told him just what he wanted to know.
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she slammed her knee into his groin. Damien saw stars.  “Shit.”  His voice was probably three octaves higher than usual. “Vlad?”  Kara stopped fighting.  Which was a good thing for Damien, because she was kicking his ass.  “Is that you?” “Yes.”  He cleared his throat and tried to concentrate on something besides agonizing pain.  “If we ever have children after this, it will be a medical marvel, Kara Lynn.”
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Bloodlust brings out the sparkle in your eyes.”
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Aww
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“I repent of my evil ways.”  Damien whispered from his deathbed there on the ground.  “You have shown me what true love truly is, Slade, and I thank you from the bottom of my black heart.” “Damien, sweetie, do you repent of your evil ways?”  Kara asked distractedly, trying to keep him engaged and conscious. “Hell no.” “Good.”  She crossed out all of that crap and swiftly turned to the next page.