The child has to learn that she is not identical with whatever feeling happens to be dominant in her at any particular moment. She can feel something without her actions being automatically dictated by that feeling. She can be aware of other, conflicting feelings or of thoughts, values, and commitments that might run counter to the feeling of the moment. She can choose. In the addict this experience of “mixed feelings” is often lacking. Emotional processes rule the addict’s perspective: whatever she is feeling at the moment tends to define her view of the world and will control her actions.
