When Rae, my wife, says no to me or behaves in a way that upsets me, my automatic belief is that I’m being rejected or abandoned by the woman whose love I need, and my mechanical reaction is to detach emotionally, to withdraw. This is a common response of young children who experience emotional or physical separation from their parents. Addiction confers invulnerability because it allows us to soothe vulnerable emotions like pain or fear or the aching for love with behaviors, objects, or substances whenever we choose. It’s a way to avoid intimacy. Mindful awareness can bring into consciousness
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