Crazy Busy: A (Mercifully) Short Book about a (Really) Big Problem

by Kevin DeYoung

One of the most talked about essays from the past few years was entitled “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All,” by Anne-Marie Slaughter.2 Ms. Slaughter was working for Hillary Clinton at the State Department as the first woman director of policy planning when she realized she could not be both the professional and the parent she wanted to be. She knew she had to make a choice, and it was a choice women seem hardwired to make more than men: Here I step onto treacherous ground, mined with stereotypes. From years of conversation and observations, however, I’ve come to believe that men and women respond quite differently when problems at home force them to recognize that their absence is hurting a child, or at least that their presence would likely help. I do not believe fathers love their children any less than mothers do, but men do seem more likely to choose their job at a cost to their family, while women seem more likely to choose their family at a cost to their job. Slaughter’s sentiments echo those of Mary Matalin when she left her position in the Bush administration: “I finally asked myself, ‘Who needs me more?’ And that’s when I realized, it’s somebody else’s turn to do this job. I’m indispensable to my kids, but I’m not close to indispensable to the White House.”3 Both of these high-powered women, from different sides of the political aisle, concluded that no matter how much you try to lay out your future or how supportive your husband might be, you still can’t have it...