waiting for people to give you what you need is a terrific way to not get it. And while you’re waiting, a number of problems are likely to develop. Feeling deprived as you nurse your unmet need, you can get moody, cold and sullen. You can end up resentful, thinking others know damn well what you need but just don’t want to give it to you. Also, the temptation to fill the gap in some other way can build, leading to foolish behavior, or, in the worst cases, to the kind of compulsion—abusing alcohol or drugs, having affairs, gambling, and so on—that only adds shame and guilt to the feeling of
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