When parents take the stance: ‘In this house I’m the one who’s going to decide who has to share, who gets to keep; what’s reasonable, what’s unreasonable; who is right, who is wrong,’ the children end up becoming more dependent upon the parent and more hostile towards their siblings. “What eases the tension, what makes harmony possible, is the attitude of ‘Who needs what? . . . Who feels what? . . . What solutions can be worked out that take everyone’s feelings and needs into account?’ We’re not so much interested in technicalities as we are in each other’s well being.
