HOW MEN EXPERIENCE SHAME When I asked men to define shame or give me an answer, here’s what I heard: Shame is failure. At work. On the football field. In your marriage. In bed. With money. With your children. It doesn’t matter—shame is failure. Shame is being wrong. Not doing it wrong, but being wrong. Shame is a sense of being defective. Shame happens when people think you’re soft. It’s degrading and shaming to be seen as anything but tough. Revealing any weakness is shaming. Basically, shame is weakness. Showing fear is shameful. You can’t show fear. You can’t be afraid—no matter what. Shame
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