If you take competing and conflicting expectations (which are often unattainable from the get-go) you have this: Be perfect, but don’t make a fuss about it and don’t take time away from anything, like your family or your partner or your work, to achieve your perfection. If you’re really good, perfection should be easy. Don’t upset anyone or hurt anyone’s feelings, but say what’s on your mind. Dial the sexuality way up (after the kids are down, the dog is walked, and the house is clean), but dial it way down at the PTO meeting. And, geez, whatever you do, don’t confuse the two—you know how we
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