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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
John Gray
Read between
August 17 - August 21, 2019
A woman under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood.
Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed…. Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.
Not to be needed is a slow death for a man.
The biggest challenge for women is correctly to interpret and support a man when he isn’t talking.
Women talk for a variety of reasons. Sometimes women talk for the same reasons that men stop talking.
Never go into a man’s cave or you will be burned by the dragon!
When a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer.
A man pulls away to fulfill his need for independence or autonomy. When he has fully stretched away, then instantly he will come springing back. When he has fully separated, then suddenly he will feel his need for love and intimacy again. Automatically he will be more motivated to give his love and receive the love he needs.
A woman’s ability to give and receive love in her relationships is generally a reflection of how she is feeling about herself. When she is not feeling as good about herself, she is unable to be as accepting and appreciative of her partner.
Love often fails because people instinctively give what they want. Because a woman’s primary love needs are to be cared for, understood, and so forth, she automatically gives her man a lot of caring and understanding. To a man this caring support often feels as though she doesn’t trust him. Being trusted is his primary need, not being cared for.
The most common way women unknowingly start arguments is by not being direct when they share their feelings.
Women commonly interrogate a man about his behavior with a disapproving tone. They do this because they think it will teach him a lesson. It does not. It only creates fear and resentment. And gradually he becomes less and less motivated.
Men are much more willing to say yes if they have the freedom to say no.
When you ask a man for support and you do not reject him for saying no, he will remember that, and next time he will be much more willing to give.
