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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
John Gray
Read between
November 11 - December 3, 2018
To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn’t know what to do or that he can’t do it on his own.
A woman’s sense of self is defined through her feelings and the quality of her relationships.
Many times a woman just wants to share her feelings about her day, and her husband, thinking he is helping, interrupts her by offering a steady flow of solutions to her problems.
When our partner resists us it is probably because we have made a mistake in our timing or approach.
Just as a man is fulfilled through working out the intricate details of solving a problem, a woman is fulfilled through talking about the details of her problems.
Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed…. Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.
A woman’s tendency to be compulsive relaxes as she remembers that she is worthy of love—she doesn’t have to earn it; she can relax, give less, and receive more. She deserves it.
It is difficult for a man to listen to a woman when she is unhappy or disappointed because he feels like a failure.
The Martian and Venusian languages had the same words, but the way they were used gave different meanings.
The biggest challenge for women is correctly to interpret and support a man when he isn’t talking.
It is very difficult for a man to differentiate between empathy and sympathy. He hates to be pitied.
A woman should not be judged for needing this reassurance, just as a man should not be judged for needing to withdraw.
The man grows to understand his own cycles and reassures her when he pulls away that he will be back.
A woman’s self-esteem rises and falls like a wave. When she hits bottom it is a time for emotional housecleaning.
When negative feelings are suppressed positive feelings become suppressed
Telling a woman she shouldn’t feel hurt is about the worst thing a man can say.
The best way to help a man grow is to let go of trying to change him in any way.
Just as communication is the most important element in a relationship, arguments can be the most destructive element.
Intimidation always weakens trust in a relationship.
Women commonly interrogate a man about his behavior with a disapproving tone. They do this because they think it will teach him a lesson. It does not. It only creates fear and resentment.
