The biggest battle of my Christian life has been feeling at home with God. Intimacy with God was a foreign concept to me, reserved for saints, politicians and televangelists. For me growing up, God always felt like the old man in the sky with a stick. Unmerciful, unflinching, unsmiling, He looked down on the world––and me in particular––without emotion or fondness, his eyes unreadable and uncertain. Prayer felt to me like sitting outside the principal’s office when I was in school, trying to figure out how to get away with my wrongdoing, and church felt like being at a fancy dinner and not
...more
