I still have a lot of anxieties about fucking him up with my selfishness or because I cling too tightly to him. In his first days here, I’d think, Well, he won’t ever be able to get into college because I don’t flash black-and-white images at him so he can develop his vision. Now I look at how clingy and selfish I am, and how much I cry since Pammy got sick, and I worry that it’s wrecking him,
