Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology

by Cory O'Brien

So the moral of the story is that if you are not ready to be a father consider all of your options before skipping directly to cannibalism.

Nice patricide, Odin. What are you going to do next further desecrate your grandfather’s body by tearing him apart and using his limbs as decoration for a universe you and your brothers are making? Yes. This is exactly what Odin and his brothers do.

So it does, and it brings them back to Ra and he starts crying either because he is so happy to have his kids back or because now he has to raise kids

But the good news is that there is ONE THING with the power to stop an unstoppable murder engine and that thing is BOOZE.

Mayans are the MVPs of making calendars, man. You have to hand it to a culture that can make a calendar SO INTENSE that it is still freaking people out CENTURIES LATER.

By day six, God is pretty pleased. He’s like “Wow, this is awesome. How can I ruin it?” So he invents mankind

Shiva is like “Hey, Kali. We’ve talked about this. You need to stop stabbing all the time. This right here? This is what is known as too much stabbing.” And Kali is like “NEVER STOP STABBING.”