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April 12 - April 13, 2021
Positive words make us physically strong; negative words make us physically weak. The amazing aspect of this experiment is that it doesn’t matter if we believe the words or not. The mere uttering of them makes our inner self believe them. It is as though the inner self doesn’t know what is true and what is false. It doesn’t judge. It only reacts to what it is fed.
STOP FEEDING YOURSELF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. Negative thoughts take away your power . . . and thus make you more paralyzed from your fear.
“Ships in harbor are safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.”—John Shedd “The best way out is always through.”—Helen Keller
I am breaking through old patterns and moving forward with my life. I relax knowing I can handle it all. I stand tall and take responsibility for my life. I know that I count and I act as if I do.
I spread warmth and love everywhere I go. I let go and I trust it’s all happening perfectly. I peacefully allow my life to unfold. I am finding the gift in all experiences. I am powerful and I am loving and I have nothing to fear. I focus on my many blessings.
Always state affirmations in the present. Wrong: I will handle my fears. Right: I am now handling my fears. Always phrase affirmations in the positive, rather than the negative. Wrong: I am no longer putting myself down. Right: I am becoming more confident every day.
OUTTALK YOUR NEGATIVITY.
Yes, there is pain in our own lives. We all experience loss and disappointment. No one is immune. And real positive thinking allows the tears to flow, always knowing we will get to the other side of the pain and live a beautiful and productive life. Yes, there is pain in the world . . . and real positive thinking allows the tears to flow for the world as well. Starvation exists. Racism exists. War exists. Environmental problems exist. And on it goes. Let the tears flow, and then get involved!
No one is immune to pain, and it shouldn’t be denied when it exists. The key is to know that you can lead a productive and meaningful life no matter what the external circumstances are.
Your “bad breaks” do not dominate your life; your indomitable strength does. And when you feel that indomitable strength, you really can handle any of your fears from a position of power—the kind of power that really can make good things happen.
IT IS AMAZINGLY EMPOWERING TO HAVE THE SUPPORT OF A STRONG, MOTIVATED, AND INSPIRATIONAL GROUP OF PEOPLE.
As you begin to grow, you will notice that you no longer want to be around depressing people. Negativity is contagious, and you walk away feeling lousy after spending time in the company of a negative person. Positiveness is contagious as well, and spending time with a positive person makes you feel as though you can sprout wings and fly.
You can simply give them a big kiss and say, “I love you but I have to live my own life.”
“You know, Dad, I love you very much, and until you start respecting who I am, I am going to stay away from you. Right now I need people to support me and love me, and that’s not what I feel coming from you.”
As I stated earlier, all you have to do to change your world is change the way you think about it.
“Should I do this or should I do that? What if I go this way and that happens? What if it doesn’t work out the way I plan? What if . . . ” The “what if”s are out in full force. The internal Chatterbox is at it again. You look at the unknown and try to predict the future; you try to take control of outside forces. Both are impossible. At this point you might notice that you are driving yourself crazy. After the decision is made, the No-Win Model makes you constantly reassess the situation, hoping you didn’t make a mistake. You keep looking back and berating yourself with “If only I had . . . ”
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Finding out what you don’t like is, paradoxically, as valuable as finding out what you do like.
Alex learned that if you want something badly enough, there is a way to get it. And if there was a way, he would find it. He knew that if he hadn’t been able to obtain a fellowship, he would have found another way. As a result, he approached future decisions with a feeling of power, energy, and excitement. Remember that underlying all our fears is a lack of trust in ourselves. Each step that Alex took, despite the outcome, even when it meant loss of financial support and delay in his education, was an opportunity for him to learn to trust himself to provide for his own needs.
THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU CAN HANDLE ANYTHING THAT COMES YOUR WAY IS THE KEY TO ALLOWING YOURSELF TO TAKE HEALTHY, LIFE-AFFIRMING RISKS.
They have discovered that security is not having things; it’s handling things. Thus, when you can answer all your “what if”s with “I can handle it,” you can approach all things with a no-lose guarantee, and the fear disappears.
1. Focus immediately on the No-Lose Model. Affirm to yourself, “I can’t lose—regardless of the outcome of the decision I make. The world is a place for opportunity, and I look forward to the opportunities for learning and growing that either pathway gives me.” Push out thoughts of what you can lose and allow only thoughts of what you can gain. Use the exercises in the chapter on positive thinking.
2. Do your homework. There is much to learn about the alternatives that lie before you. It is most helpful to talk to as many people as will listen.
You don’t have to continue having conversations about your decision with those who make you feel bad about yourself.
“YOU’RE NOT A FAILURE IF YOU DON’T MAKE IT; YOU’RE A SUCCESS BECAUSE YOU TRY.”
It could be said that there were many false starts in my writing career. Not so! Each step along the way made me more and more ready to enter the field, even though the outcome may not have been in the form originally pictured. And I certainly learned how to deal with rejection! Putting your ideas out into the world by constantly talking about them may create a few doubting Thomases, yet not only does talking bring valuable information, it clarifies your intention to have it happen! Intention is a powerful tool in creating something you want in your life.
3. Establish your priorities. This will require some soul-searching. Give yourself time really to think about what you want out of life. This is a very difficult thing to discover for most of us, since we are trained at an early age to do what other people want us to do. We are out of touch with those things that really bring us satisfaction. To make it easier, ask yourself which pathway is more in line with your overall goals in life— at the present time.
4. Trust your impulses. Although you might have difficulty getting to the “person within” through the soul-searching process, your body sometimes gives some good clues about which way to go. Even after you’ve done your homework, talked to many people and come up with a logical choice, it is possible that your impulse is telling you to go with the other choice. Don’t be afraid to trust it. Very often your subconscious mind sends knowing messages as to which choice is better at a particular time. As you start paying attention to your impulses, you will be surprised at the good advice you are
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I must make it clear, following the concept that there is no such thing as a wrong decision, that if I had chosen to remain a therapist in the mental-health clinic, that choice also would have brought me rich opportunities for experiencing life in a new and different way. There was no right or wrong decision, just different ones.
1. Throw away your picture. We all create expectations of what we would like to happen after a decision is made. The picture in our mind’s eye might have served a valuable function in helping to make a decision. But once the decision is made, let the picture go. Since you can’t control the future, the picture can create unhappiness if it’s not fulfilled.
When you can find the opportunity in any decision, it is much easier to accept the responsibility for making it.
From the analogy, we see that the trick in life is not to worry about making a wrong decision; it’s learning when to correct!
BEFORE MAKING A DECISION 1. Focus on the No-Lose Model. 2. Do your homework. 3. Establish your priorities. 4. Trust your impulses.
5. Lighten up. AFTER MAKING A DECISION 1. Throw away your picture. 2. Accept total responsibility. 3. Don’t protect, correct.
ACTION IS THE KEY TO YOUR SUCCESS.
If you had picked the area PERSONAL GROWTH, you might see yourself taking classes and workshops, reading books, and attending lectures.
What about the area of FRIENDS? What would that look like? Here, you might see yourself inviting them over for dinner, creating a terrific evening out, writing them letters of appreciation, or simply calling them and telling them you were thinking about them.
Let’s look at the area of LEISURE. This one stumps a lot of my students, and I admit it is an area I must work on daily. Many of us tend to be achievement-oriented and get anxious when taking time to relax and enjoy ourselves. It seems to be okay when you’re relaxing with your mate or friends, but when on your own, you feel you should be accomplishing something. Again, the way to release this anxiety is to call upon the Magic Duo. By committing yourself 100% to your relaxation and “acting as if” your well-being counts, you can enjoy taking some time alone for yourself.
IN SAYING “YES” LIES THE ANTIDOTE TO OUR FEAR.
Saying yes means letting go of resistance and letting in the possibilities that our universe offers in new ways of seeing the world. It means to relax bodily and calmly survey the situation, thereby reducing upset and anxiety. Aside from the emotional benefits, the physical benefits are enormous.
ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF PAIN IS VERY IMPORTANT; DENIAL IS DEADLY.
world. I explained to him that saying yes means positive action; saying no means giving up. It is only when we see possibility for change that we can work to effect change. We can say no to the situation as it is, but yes to the possibility for the growth it offers. If you believe that a situation in your life is hopeless, you simply sit back and let yourself be destroyed.
STEPS TO SAYING YES 1. Create awareness that you are saying no. 2. Nod your head up and down—say yes. 3. Relax your body. 4. Adopt an attitude of “It’s all happening perfectly. Let’s see what good I can create from this situation.”
5. Be patient with yourself. It takes time to adopt a “yes” approach to life. Say yes to you!
IF ALL YOUR “GIVING” IS ABOUT “GETTING,” THINK HOW FEARFUL YOU WILL BECOME.
Look for blessings, and you will notice them all over the place. They will envelop you. There is so much you are not seeing that is already there. There is no need to feel scarcity, when there is such abundance.
“This job is not my life. If I do not get it, it is because it is not for my highest good. If I am meant to have it, it will be mine. I can relax now and turn it over to my Subconscious Mind and the Universal Energy out there. All the answers I need are within me. It is all happening perfectly.
WHY CHOOSE TO BE RIGHT INSTEAD OF HAPPY WHEN THERE IS NO WAY TO BE RIGHT?
Say YES to life. Participate. Move. Act. Write. Read. Sign up. Take a stand. Or do whatever it takes for you. Get involved in the process.
