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We make an activity into work or play by our judgments.
You will end up saying, “I just don’t feel like doing this right now.” This implies that what you feel like doing is something else that you have defined as “not work.” You are not in the present but instead are in the future, anticipating another activity.
He had learned he could completely enjoy anything he was doing, provided he kept his mind in the present and just focused on the process of what he was doing at that moment. The difference this made in his life and how he felt was very profound to him.
staying present-moment and process oriented for just the first half hour.
The practicing mind puts you in control of even the most difficult situations and allows you to work with less effort and negative emotion at any activity. This produces inner peace, and you accomplish more with less effort.
Habits are learned. Choose them wisely.
We need to be more aware of what we are doing, what we are thinking, and what we are intending to accomplish in order to gain control of what we experience in life.
What we practice will become a habit. This is a very important point because it underscores the value of being in control of our practicing minds.
when we say that something is a habit, it means that it is the natural way we do something.
What is required is that you are aware of what you want to achieve, that you know the motions you must intentionally repeat to accomplish the goal, and that you execute your actions without emotions or judgments; just stay on course. You should do this in the comfort of knowing that intentionally repeating something over a short course of time will create a new habit or replace an old one.
That is why you must be aware that you are forming a habit, know what you want to accomplish, and apply yourself with intentional effort.
I would just stay with it and know that I was where I should be right “now” and that I was becoming what I wanted to be, accomplishing what I needed to accomplish.
“This is what I need to do, so here I go.” That’s it; no big deal.
You can create a “preshot” routine that functions in the same way for our workplace scenario, too.
your trigger. It is very comforting to know that when you remain present in an effort like this, and when you have a predetermined intention about how to react, that intention will, with surprising quickness, come to your rescue and give you that little edge in personal control you need to stay ahead of your reaction.
Notice the desire: trigger
Then your new reaction becomes self-perpetuating. You execute the reaction you want; then your internal reaction to your response feels good because you have protected your inner peace, and you experience the paycheck for your effort. This gives you the emotional and mental stamina to stay with your effort. Thus a new habit begins to form. Eventually the whole process begins to fade into the background as it becomes a natural part of who you are and how you process a situation.
You are back in the false sense of thinking, “There is some place other than where I actually am now that I need to be. Only then will I be happy.”
This is totally untrue and counterproductive. To the contrary, you are exactly where you should be right now.
“You need to keep reviewing these ideas so that you can hang on to their clarity and perspective. Otherwise, life steals them away.”
Constantly reviewing new ideas creates, in a sense, a new habit of perceiving and processing our lives, a habit that brings us the sense of clarity we long for every day.
The first step toward patience is to become aware of when your internal dialogue is running wild and dragging you with it. If
Staying in the present and in the process is the first part of the perspective change that creates patience.
The second step in creating patience is understanding and accepting that there is no such thing as reaching a point of perfection in anything.
The feeling “I’ll be happy when X happens” will never bring you anything but discontentment.
We need to let go of the futile idea that happiness is out there somewhere, and embrace the infinite growth available to us as a treasure, not as something that we are impatient to overcome.
an infinite study. There was a sense of freedom in knowing that I would never run out of room to grow. There was peace in knowing the race was over.
My real joy was found in my ability to learn and to experience my growth, moment by moment.
There were no mistakes being made, just a process of discovering what worked and what didn’t.
A lot of the joy of expressing yourself musically is in your awareness of how much of your personal energy and stamina it took you to reach your current performance level.
Credit cards, though convenient and certainly necessary at times in the modern world, are a form of instant gratification, but perhaps they should be called insignificant gratification.
Long before the bill arrives, the excitement of acquiring the object has worn off. Why? Because it came with no effort.
The real thrill of acquiring anything, whether it is an object or a personal goal, is your anticipation of the moment of receiving it. The real joy lies in creating and sustaining the stamina and patience needed to work for something over a period of time.
So many people miss this point. They look at the process of working for something as an annoying effort they have to go through to get what they want. They make the thing the goal, instead of the process of getting that thing. Just getting the thing produces a very small return investment of inner joy compared with the dividend gleaned from the process of getting there and achieving the goal.
To change your perspective, you must first realize this truth, and, second, you must become aware of those times that you are in the process of working toward a particular goal. When you make a decision to acquire something whose acquisition will require a long-term commitment, pick the goal and then be aware that you are entering the process of achieving the goal. You cannot do this if you constantly make the end result your point of focus. You have acknowledged the goal; now let go of it and put your energy into the practice and process that will move you toward that goal.
This shift in perspective is very small and subtle on the one hand, but it has enormous freeing power. No task seems too large to undertake. Your confidence goes way up, as does your patience with yourself. You are always achieving your goal, and there are no mistakes or time limits to create stress.
In each moment you spend putting effort into learning the piece, you are achieving your goal.
Simplicity in effort will conquer the most complex of tasks. The four “S” words are simplify, small, short, and slow.
Simplify. When you work at a specific project or activity, simplify it by breaking it down into its component sections. Don’t set goals that are too far beyond your reach. Unrealistic goals create frustration and invite failure, which can make you doubt your abilities. The success of attaining each simple goal will generate motivation that propels you along in the process, and you won’t suffer the mental fatigue you experience when you bite off more than you can chew.
Small. Be aware of your overall goal, and remember to use it as a rudder or distant beacon that keeps you on course. But break down the overall goal into small sections that can be achieved with a comfortable amount of concentration.
Short. Now you can also bring short into the equation: “I’m going to work at cleaning the garage for forty-five minutes a day over the next few days until it is completely clean.” You can survive just about anything for forty-five minutes. You have to deal with only one corner of the garage for forty-five minutes, and you’ll be done for the day. You look at your watch and walk away from the task at the end of the forty-five minutes, feeling in control and satisfied that your goal of a clean garage is flowing toward you. No frustration is involved. You have simplified the task by breaking it
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“I am doing this for me and for my health, both physical and mental. I have a cell phone, and, if need be, I can call whomever and tell them I am running late, and that’s the best I can do.”
You can see that these four components are all part of the same process. Each one needs and creates the other. When you work slowly, things become simpler. If you want to simplify something, break it down into small parts and work more slowly at each part. Since all four components take effort to develop and maintain, you will have greater success if you break down the time that you apply to working on them into short intervals. You will find it much easier to stay with your effort if you do this.
We do so many activities on automatic. We don’t realize we are not present in the activity simply because it is so automatic and requires very little thought. Brushing your teeth slowly demands that you pay attention and forces you into the present moment. It is a very practical training exercise for teaching present-moment awareness for several reasons.
As you work at using these techniques, they will seem difficult at first.
Accepting that this is a lifetime effort, and that in the beginning your progress may seem almost unnoticeable, is part of the lesson to be learned. Keep thinking of the flower. Regardless of the stage of growth and evolution you are in, in every moment you are perfect at being who you are. Nonjudgment is the pathway to a quiet mind!
Equanimity is defined as even-temperedness and calmness. It would certainly seem to be a quality necessary for happiness in life. Equanimity is a virtue worth every effort to develop.
A sign that someone possesses this virtue is that they are undisturbed by the moment-to-moment ups and downs they experience in daily life. Things just don’t seem to bother these people. Why is this? It is because equanimity comes from the art of nonjudgment. Nonjudgment quiets the internal dialogue of our mind.
Judgment requires the process of evaluation, the process of comparison. This requires a point of relativity, an ideal. As I mentioned earlier in the book, judgments are always based on some preconceived idea of perfection. There is always an imagined ideal item, experience, or circumstance that allows us and even compels us to pass judgment.
Judgments are necessary for us to function in life, but they have a downside: They are not executed with a detached nature. There is usually some emotion involved, and the amount of emotion is proportional to the perceived importance of the judgment.
you are at your best when you are not operating under the influence of emotions and unconscious judgment making.
