Shame Interrupted: How God Lifts the Pain of Worthlessness and Rejection

by Edward T. Welch

Don’t turn away. As those words pile up—as you can no longer deny God’s accepting love—you will want to turn toward him and hear more.

The shamed person feels worthless, expects rejection, and needs cleansing, fellowship, love, and acceptance.

Be on guard: assume that shame always accumulates lies.

We turn from those we think will damage our reputation and we turn toward those we think will enhance it.

It works in a similar way with God. If we turn toward him and trust him, we associate ourselves with him and share in his reputation. If we run from him, we may enjoy a moment of independence, but it will be followed by the enduring sense that we are outsiders. Shame isolates, but it is more personal and relational than we realize.

Try changing the subject so it is more about God than about your shame. The basic idea is to focus on the matchless worth of the Lord God and then get connected to him.

Self-worth, or anything we think would make us acceptable to God, would suit our pride but it has the disturbing side-effect of making the cross of Jesus Christ less valuable.

It seems unfair that both perpetrators and victims should be placed in the same category, but God is making a point. Both our actions and our associations make us unclean, and uncleanness doesn’t belong in his kingdom.

If you are still reluctant, there could be one other explanation. You are plain stubborn and ticked off. You believe there has been an injustice done against you, and God didn’t do much about it. Now you face a stalemate. You can’t win, but you don’t want to resign. To resign is humbling. Sometimes we are willing to be unclean if it allows us to indulge a good snit. But, though you feel stuck, you can be sure that God isn’t. He is the one who makes the first move. He will continue to show mercy and grace to you. You will find that resignation and trust in the Lord is better than you think.