If you moved toward her and tried to converse with her she was certain that you were only showing pity, which made her feel even more like an outcast. She heard about cleanness and uncleanness, and she could hear little slivers of hope in the possibility of feeling normal, being whole, without self-consciousness. But it didn’t go very deep because she didn’t feel contaminated or dirty. She felt disgusting, and a bath couldn’t help. Her shame came from her sense that she was ugly—so ugly that people would either stare or turn away. If you feel ugly you will experience shame. The two are bound
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