“None of that stuff would’ve happened on an island of girls. Spearing a pig in the . . . butthole?” She made a visceral “no thank you” face, as though the act were a party game we were actually playing and she was refusing her turn. “Yeah right,” said Lambert. He was a dorky kid who wrote long diatribes in his journals about how girls say they want a nice guy but he knew this to be patently false: I am one such fellow, he wrote, and my female peers will not come near me unless they’re trying to copy my homework. “If it were an island of girls they would’ve cannibalized each other in days.”
