Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?: (And other concerns)

by Mindy Kaling

Take care of revenge right away. Push, shove, scratch that person while they’re still within arm’s reach.

Not knowing people’s names isn’t a neurological condition; it’s a choice.

Sometimes You Just Have to Put on Lip Gloss and Pretend to Be Psyched

There Has Ceased to Be a Difference Between My Awake Clothes and My Asleep Clothes

How I continually found myself in situations where I felt I had to say thank you to mean guys, I’m not sure.

I’m getting made fun of because I used to be fat? The laws of bullying allow you to be cruel even when the victim had made strides for improvement? This is when I realized that bullies have no code of conduct.

One friend with whom you have a lot in common is better than three with whom you struggle to find things to talk about.

with real friends you don’t have to make it official. It just is.

write your own part. It is the only way I’ve gotten anywhere. It is much harder work, but sometimes you have to take destiny into your own hands. It forces you to think about what your strengths really are, and once you find them, you can showcase them, and no one can stop you.

the sexiest thing in the world is the feeling that you’re wanted.

The simple overture of wanting me can satisfy my ego for a good long time.

I just don’t think I could ever do it myself.

an “Irish exit” is when you leave a party without telling anyone (and presumably it is because you are too drunk to form words).

“French exit” is when you leave a party early without saying good-bye to anyone or paying your share of the bill and maybe you are also drunk.

Jeremy’s a boy. You need a man.

Men know what they want and they don’t let you in on their inner monologue, and that is scary.

I’m thirty-two and I fully feel like an adult.

a quality that I found really appealing and that I knew I wanted in the next guy I dated seriously: a guy who wasn’t afraid of commitment.

think when men hear that women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but that’s not it. It’s a commitment to not floating around anymore. I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life. Entrenched is awesome.

I might even know more divorced people than married people, because I live in godless Los Angeles, where if you’re engaged it simply means you’re publicly announcing that you are dating a person monogamishly.

divorced people tend to be the least depressing or depressed people I know.

when one person is unhappy, it usually means two people are unhappy but that one has not come to terms with it yet.

is it really so hard to make it work? What happened to being pals?

any marriage is work, but you may as well pick work that you like.

“I don’t feel comfortable” is the classic manipulative girl get-my-way line. It’s right up there with “I don’t feel entirely safe.”