Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential AND HOW YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOURS

by Shirzad Chamine

Judge: Your Judge causes you to make a whole lot of assumptions about the other person’s intentions. These assumptions are often false and usually make the other person defensive. A powerful Judge also causes you to listen selectively, looking only for evidence to prove your own point right. Controller: The Controller tends to intimidate others in a conflict. A Controller can make you confrontational and give you an in-your-face style that makes others uncomfortable. The Controller can also make you shut down others and cause them to feel that you are inflexible and only committed to your own way, even if that’s not your true intention. Stickler: The Stickler’s certainty about the right way is often not shared by others. If your Stickler is in control, you might come across as self-righteous, rigid, or overly perfectionistic. Avoider: The Avoider directs your attention away from the conflict. You will either hope the conflict goes away or convince yourself that it isn’t important. You might sugarcoat and soften your message to the point where the other person doesn’t understand the severity of the problem until it has gotten out of hand. Hyper-Achiever: The Hyper-Achiever can make you too goal-focused, causing you to miss the relationship-building gift of the conflict. The other person might feel you are treating them only as a means of getting to your goal.36 Pleaser: The Pleaser prevents you from asking for what you really want or need and encourages you to accommodate t...