Dead Souls

by Nikolai Gogol

Of course, it may be remarked that there are many other things to be done about the house besides preparing surprises and indulging in prolonged kisses, and one could ask a great many questions. Why, for instance, was the kitchen run so stupidly and shiftlessly? Why was the larder rather empty? Why was the housekeeper such a thief? Why were the servants slovenly in person and such drunkards? Why did all the house help sleep so outrageously long and carry on dissolutely all the rest of the time? But all these are low matters, whereas Mrs. Manilova had been well educated. And a good education, as everybody knows, is acquired at boarding schools; and at boarding schools, as everybody knows, there are three major subjects which constitute the basis of all human virtues: the French language, indispensable for domestic happiness; the pianoforte, to afford pleasant moments to ones spouse; and, finally, that which really pertains to domestic science: the knitting of purses and other such surprises.