Men process truth through argumentation and give-and-take. But in the church we strain toward niceness. We are uncomfortable with conflict. We’ve adopted an eleventh commandment: if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Is this Christlikeness or cowardice? Jesus was so bold in his arguments with the Pharisees that they often left wanting to kill him. Christ’s fiery words embarrassed his own disciples. Even Jesus’ friends were burned by his flamethrower tongue.8 The next time you’re teaching men, ask provocative questions. Stir the pot. Set two rules: (1) nothing’s off-limits,
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