101 Secrets For Your Twenties

by Paul Angone

But you have to be on the stage to win. They weren’t going to give the guitar to the bystander in the front row who swore he could’ve done it better.

Our jobs mixing machiattos or encased in cubicles would’ve probably seemed a Vocation Vacation for millions from generations past and present.

So why am I now thankful for all my former jobs? Because we can learn the most in the jobs we like the least.

See the vision of who you are and who you want to be, and then when the right time comes, run like that boar is chasing you.

Don’t make a date into something more than a date. Or you won’t date.

Dating is simply trial and error. And if you don’t try, that will be the biggest error of all.

Failing means you’re simply finding a more profound way to be successful, if you’re willing to learn from it, and then have the courage to possibly fail again. And possibly more profoundly than before.

Complaining and creating have a direct correlation. The more you create, the less you complain. The more you complain, the less you create. It’s a pretty simple formula.

We learn that sometimes life will dismantle you so that you can be rebuilt.

Awkward First Date Story = Social Gold.

Sometimes you just need to thank Bon Iver for your time together, but it’s time for you to go. You need to buy a one-way ticket and fly toward some sunnier skies. It’s time to change that playlist.

Let frustration cattle prod you toward your future. Let the frustration of “This is not where I want to be” motivate you to keep moving forward. Go ahead. Be frustrated. Just make sure you do something productive about it. The best way to relieve frustration is to dive headfirst right into it.

Making and keeping friends in our 20s takes intentionality. Consider this a collective challenge for you and I both to give friending a chance.

Don’t wait, act. Raise your hand. Say, “sure I can do that.” Then figure it out from there. You’ll be surprised how quickly the act becomes a reality.

“Stop worrying about finding the right person. Instead, start working on becoming the right person.”

So instead of searching for this magical creature called The One, I propose we should be on the hunt for The Four—the four different relationships that need to be intertwined within the Right One.

Your 20s are about experiencing the first signs of Retroactive Puberty—just when you’ve become used to your body, it starts going through changes again.

But then you get married and realize the truth; you have marriage figured out until the day after you’re actually married. We spend so much time and effort on getting married; we forget that the real point is staying married.

Now as I enter Five-Years-Deep into the World of Husband, there are only two things I’m sure about: 1. I still have a lot to learn. 2. When in doubt, do the dishes.

There’s this amazing indie-documentary that not many have seen titled Danielson: a Family Movie (or enter a joyful noise here).

You’ll be much better at leading your own band if you’ve learned how to play all the instruments yourself.

Even if life feels like you’re driving through a blizzard right now—you can’t see a thing, the roads are slick, and there’s a very real fear you might get stuck and not be able to get out—I promise, come morning when the sun does what it always does, the beauty around you will make the hard drive to get there so worth it.

Most life transitions are pretty similar to a bad breakup, aren’t they? But instead of breaking up with someone else, you’re breaking up with a season of your life and who you were during that time. You’re not only leaving a place behind, but you’re also leaving behind a version of yourself. In life transitions, you’re kind of breaking up with yourself.

We don’t connect with each other through our pretend perfection. We connect over our shared struggle. Authenticity starts with you. Be brave enough to go first.

So in your career, your relationships, your life—what’s going to be your Honda Civic Hatchback? Functional, yet not exactly something you’re pulling up to valet parking. What are you willing to give up, and what are you going to cling tight to?

Yet, in the face of this harsh reality, Churchill spoke these words: “Do not let us speak of darker days: let us speak rather of sterner days. These are not dark days; these are great days—the greatest days our country has ever lived; and we must all thank God that we have been allowed, each of us according to our stations, to play a part in making these days memorable in the history of our race.” Churchill knew dark days. Through his lifetime the battle with depression that he called his “black dog,” to his political defeat that sent him in near political exile for the ten years leading up to the war, to only face Hitler and the near destruction of England. Winston Churchill knew how dark darkness could get.

“Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”