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What can you do? Don’t presume your boss is always one or the other, judge or coach. Instead, think of his dual roles as extremes between which he moves back and forth depending on the situation. At first, in small ways that aren’t risky, test his willingness to provide support. That way, you can see when, where, and how he’s likely to focus on development rather than evaluation. Learn his feelings about what’s important in management—such as careful planning, decisiveness, building consensus— and make sure you develop and display those qualities.
Develop a sense of what your boss wants to know. Some prefer to know a great deal; others, much less. In general, no boss likes to be surprised or seem ignorant of something she should know. If you must err, do it on the side of overinforming. Many bosses actually want more information than they say, so discover the right balance through experience. Find out as well how your boss wants information delivered: written reports via e-mail, in person if that’s possible, or by video call.
Those who speak up only when they disagree will usually enjoy less influence than those who have demonstrated prior support. So on those occasions when you do honestly agree with your boss, say so clearly and explicitly. You cannot succeed in this relationship at the expense of your boss; you will rise or fall together. Your task is to make both of you effective. Help your boss build on her strengths, and overcome or bypass her limitations.
Reach agreement on the results you’re expected to produce— what will happen by when. Do this at the beginning, and update expectations periodically. Warn your boss of potential risks, and play out various scenarios of how you might handle them.
It’s easy to forget that beneath your boss’s mantle of authority there’s a person just like you. He has hopes, aspirations, frustrations, strengths, weaknesses, and fears. He’s the product of his background, training, and experience. He has a personal life—a family and family history, religious beliefs, social organizations, political views, and hobbies.
Do you present a problem and expect your boss to solve it? Many bosses resist that approach. Instead, try going in with a problem, an analysis, alternatives, and a recommendation he can react to.
From your boss you can get advice and guidance; feedback about your performance, strengths, and weaknesses; insight into what others think of you; developmental assignments; and access to training programs and other learning opportunities.
