Sometimes You Win--Sometimes You Learn: Life's Greatest Lessons Are Gained from Our Losses

by John C. Maxwell

The losses are going to come at you in every shape and size, and hit you in every area of your life from your finances to your heart to your health, and more—that much is guaranteed. What is not guaranteed is how you react to those challenges.

The message is, “Hope to win, expect to lose, and live with the results either way.”

My fear of making a mistake seems to be based on the hidden assumption that I am potentially perfect, and that if I can just be very careful I will not fall from heaven.

“It doesn’t matter how much milk you spill as long as you don’t lose your cow!” I am convinced that

When we win, nothing hurts; when we lose, everything hurts. And the only time you hear someone use the phrase “It’s only a game” is when that person is losing.

“The good times we put in our pocket. The bad times we put in our heart.”

We can’t let the fear of negative consequences keep us from taking risks. Allowing negative experiences of the past to warp your future is like living in a coffin. It puts a lid on you and can end your life.

If you see things the right way, losses are opportunities to change and improve.

Those who profit from adversity possess a spirit of humility and are therefore inclined to make the necessary changes needed to learn from their mistakes, failures, and losses.

Remember, it’s the finish, not the start, that counts the most in life.

he had a coach who believed there are things more important than winning, such as learning. And

he wanted to be remembered, not for his championships, but as someone who did his best to teach his players about the important things in life.

“Humility does not mean you think less of yourself. It means you think of yourself less.”

“Show me a guy who is afraid to look bad, and I’ll show you a guy you can beat every time.” —Lou Brock

Humanity is filled with mistakes. Humility allows us to learn from them.

When we’re humble, we are open to seeing our mistakes as possibilities for innovation and success.

Success and fame don’t always come to the most talented people. Sometimes they come to the person who can turn adversity into advantage.

The reality of such an overwhelming situation causes some people to crumble, others to adapt and learn what they must to survive.

It’s easier to go from failure to success than it is from excuses to success.

Once we accept the fact that life is hard, we begin to grow.

No one escapes life’s problems, failures, and losses.

Because the people who succeed in life don’t try to escape pain, loss, or unfairness. They just learn to face those things, accept them, and move ahead in the face of them.

Life isn’t fair, and we shouldn’t expect it to be. The sooner we face that reality, the better we are going to be at facing whatever is coming toward us.

One of the keys to winning is to not make things even harder for yourself, which is, unfortunately, what many people seem to do.

While some people experience greater difficulties in life because they refuse to grow, there are additional kinds of people who create difficulties for themselves:

Winning causes people to relax and enjoy the spoils of victory. Do that and you just may coast your way to failure.

an organization can sustain only as many groups as it has trained leaders to lead them.

And if you try to deny reality and make the climb anyway, you’re going to end up in trouble.

The stress of a difficult situation can make you forget your plan and if you don’t handle the situation well, you won’t be able to make adjustments. Yet

If we want to be successful, we can’t wait that long.

If I want to solve it, I need to take action. What is the best solution?” When you have a challenge, you can turn lemons into lemonade, or you can let them sour your whole life. It’s your choice.

You create opportunities by looking trouble in the eye and performing, not looking away and pretending.

I have come to the conclusion that responsibility is the most important ability that a person can possess. Nothing happens to advance our potential until we step up and say, “I am responsible.” If you don’t take responsibility, you give up control of your life.

if we bail out on our responsibility, we don’t examine our failures and don’t learn from them. As a result, we often experience the same failures and losses repeatedly over time.

A victim mind-set causes people to focus on what they cannot do instead of what they can do. It is a recipe for continued failure.

“If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”

“Those things that hurt, instruct.” That’s true, but only if you make an effort to understand how life works and accept it.

How will you approach your life? Will you simply allow life to happen to you? Or will you seize the choices you make with enthusiasm and responsibility?

Real success is a journey. We have to approach it with a long-term mind-set.

If we want to do something and we take responsibility, we’ll find a way. If not, we’ll find an excuse.

“Pain is inevitable but misery is optional.”

many surprises. My life didn’t turn out like I thought it would.

If you can find the right balance where you take responsibility for the things you can control and let go of the things you cannot, you will accelerate your learning process.

Taking responsibility doesn’t mean cultivating a negative attitude. It means being willing to see things from a better perspective.

The best learners are people who don’t see their losses and failures as permanent.

learn from their failures and do not repeat them.

That’s the way you learned to walk, eat, talk, ride a bike, throw a ball, and all the other basic tasks of living. Why would you think you’ll ever get to a place where you can learn without failing and making mistakes? If you want to learn more, you need to do more. But you also need to pay attention to what’s not working and make adjustments accordingly.

There are no shortcuts to perfection.

He was more concerned about his personal success than he was his personal growth. That was getting in his way.

Novelist Fyodor Dostoyevsky observed, “Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most.”