At this time, I was entering my fifties, unlikely to ever double my years, and I came face-to-face with a simple question: Did becoming older bring me closer to Jesus? Somehow I had come to believe that growing older and more mature meant that I would be increasingly able to offer leadership. In fact, I had grown more self-confident over the years. I felt I knew something and had the ability to express it well and be heard. In that sense, I felt more and more in control. Yet I found myself praying poorly, living somewhat isolated from other people, and becoming very much preoccupied with
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