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Like all explorers, we are drawn to discover what’s waiting out there without knowing yet if we have the courage to face it.
Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.
Things become very clear when there is nowhere to escape.
the next time you encounter fear, consider yourself lucky. This is where the courage comes in.
That’s what we’re going to discover again and again and again. Nothing is what we thought.
“Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.”
The very first noble truth of the Buddha points out that suffering is inevitable for human beings as long as we believe that things last—that they don’t disintegrate, that they can be counted on to satisfy our hunger for security.
We use all kinds of ways to escape—all addictions stem from this moment when we meet our edge and we just can’t stand it.
Rather than realizing that it takes death for there to be birth, we just fight against the fear of death.
One boy asked him if he was ever afraid. Rinpoche answered that his teacher had encouraged him to go to places like graveyards that scared him and to experiment with approaching things he didn’t like.
The spiritual journey involves going beyond hope and fear, stepping into unknown territory, continually moving forward. The most important aspect of being on the spiritual path may be to just keep moving.
We don’t sit in meditation to become good meditators. We sit in meditation so that we’ll be more awake in our lives.
the point is still to lean toward the discomfort of life and see it clearly rather than to protect ourselves from it.
When you breathe in, it’s like a pause or a gap. There is nothing particular to do except wait for the next out-breath.
as each breath went out and dissolved, there was the chance to die to all that had gone before and to relax instead of panic.
Thoughts go through our minds all the time, and when we sit, we are providing a lot of space for all of them to arise.
If one hangs on and sweeps us away, whether we call it pleasant or unpleasant, the instruction is to label it all “thinking” with as much openness and kindness as we can muster and let it dissolve back
we might as well stop struggling against our thoughts and realize that honesty and humor are far more inspiring and helpful than any kind of solemn religious striving for or against anything.
1. Whether sitting on a cushion on the floor or in a chair, the seat should be flat, not tilting to the right or left or to the back or front. 2. The legs are crossed comfortably in front of you—or, if you’re sitting in a chair, the feet are flat on the floor, and the knees are a few inches apart. 3. The torso (from the head to the seat) is upright, with a strong back and an open front. If sitting in a chair, it’s best not to lean back. If you start to slouch, simply sit upright again. 4. The hands are open, with palms down, resting on the thighs. 5. The eyes are open, indicating the attitude
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The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves. Yet it’s never too late or too early to practice loving-kindness.
What makes maitri such a different approach is that we are not trying to solve a problem. We are not striving to make pain go away or to become a better person. In fact, we are giving up control altogether and letting concepts and ideals fall apart.
When we buy into harshness, we are practicing harshness. The more we do it, the stronger these qualities become. How sad it is that we become so expert at causing harm to ourselves and others. The trick then is to practice gentleness and letting go.
Sem is what we experience as discursive thoughts, a stream of chatter that’s always reinforcing an image of ourselves. Rikpa literally means “intelligence” or “brightness.”
When the rivers and air are polluted, when families and nations are at war, when homeless wanderers fill the highways, these are traditional signs of a dark age. Another is that people become poisoned by self-doubt and become cowards. Practicing loving-kindness toward ourselves seems as good a way as any to start illuminating the darkness of difficult times.
Refraining is the method for getting to know the nature of this restlessness and fear. It’s a method for settling into groundlessness. If we immediately entertain ourselves by talking, by acting, by thinking—if there’s never any pause—we will never be able to relax.
Fear said, “Thank you for showing me so much respect that you ask permission.” Then the young warrior said, “How can I defeat you?” Fear replied, “My weapons are that I talk fast, and I get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don’t do what I tell you, I have no power.
We’re at home in the world because we’re at home with ourselves,
The still lake without ripples is an image of our minds at ease, so full of unlimited friendliness for all the junk at the bottom of the lake that we don’t feel the need to churn up the waters just to avoid looking at what’s there.
If we’re willing to give up hope that insecurity and pain can be exterminated, then we can have the courage to relax with the groundlessness of our situation. This is the first step on the path.
In Tibetan there’s an interesting word: ye tang che. The ye part means “totally, completely,” and the rest of it means “exhausted.
Without giving up hope—that there’s somewhere better to be, that there’s someone better to be—we will never relax with where we are or who we are.
We long to have some reliable, comfortable ground under our feet, but we’ve tried a thousand ways to hide and a thousand ways to tie up all the loose ends, and the ground just keeps moving under us.
Theism is a deep-seated conviction that there’s some hand to hold: if we just do the right things, someone will appreciate us and take care of us. It means thinking there’s always going to be a babysitter available when we need one. We all are inclined to abdicate our responsibilities and delegate our authority to something outside ourselves. Nontheism is relaxing with the ambiguity and uncertainty of the present moment without reaching for anything to protect ourselves.
The teachings disintegrate when we try to grasp them.
We can drop the fundamental hope that there is a better “me” who one day will emerge.
Fear of death is the background of the whole thing. It’s why we feel restless, why we panic, why there’s anxiety.
IN THE MIDDLE WAY, there is no reference point. The mind with no reference point does not resolve itself, does not fixate or grasp.
be inquisitive about your reactions.
Our suffering is based so much on our fear of impermanence.
The devaputra mara is a good description of how we are all addicted to avoiding pain. When pain arises, we reach again and again for something that will blot it out.
Instead of struggling to regain our concept of who we are, we can touch in to that mind of simply not knowing, which is basic wisdom mind.
From an awakened perspective, trying to tie up all the loose ends and finally get it together is death, because it involves rejecting a lot of your basic experience.
To live is to be willing to die over and over again.
But honesty without kindness makes us feel grim and mean, and pretty soon we start looking like we’ve been sucking on lemons.
Only in an open space where we’re not all caught up in our own version of reality can we see and hear and feel who others really are, which allows us to be with them and communicate with them properly.
something we soon notice is that the person we set out to help may trigger unresolved issues in us.
Trying to find absolute rights and wrongs is a trick we play on ourselves to feel secure and comfortable.
We think that by protecting ourselves from suffering we are being kind to ourselves. The truth is, we only become more fearful, more hardened, and more alienated. We experience ourselves as being separate from the whole. This separateness becomes like a prison for us, a prison that restricts us to our personal hopes and fears and to caring only for the people nearest to us. Curiously enough, if we primarily try to shield ourselves from discomfort, we suffer.
Wise selfish people know that the best thing they can do for themselves is to be there for others. As a result, they experience joy.
Meditation and tonglen are well-tested methods for training in adaptability and letting go of rigid mind.
