When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)

by Pema Chödrön

If we commit ourselves to staying right where we are, then our experience becomes very vivid. Things become very clear when there is nowhere to escape.

It’s the practice of not immediately filling up space just because there’s a gap.

Through refraining, we see that there’s something between the arising of the craving—or the aggression or the loneliness or whatever it might be—and whatever action we take as a result.

Trying to get lasting security teaches us a lot, because if we never try to do it, we never notice that it can’t be done.

Scrambling for security has never brought anything but momentary joy.

To the degree that we’ve been avoiding uncertainty, we’re naturally going to have withdrawal symptoms—withdrawal from always thinking that there’s a problem and that someone, somewhere, needs to fix it.

“If you want to find the meaning, stop chasing after so many things.”

From an awakened perspective, trying to tie up all the loose ends and finally get it together is death, because it involves rejecting a lot of your basic experience. There is something aggressive about that approach to life, trying to flatten out all the rough spots and imperfections into a nice smooth ride.

Right down there in the thick of things, we discover the love that will not die.

Her grandmother said, “If you sit still, you’ll see something. If you’re very quiet, you’ll hear something.” She never used the word patience, but that is what they learned.