What To Say When You Talk To Your Self

by Shad Helmstetter

You may recognize some of these examples. Sincere, loving, caring parents, teachers, and friends have told children: “You’re just no good at that;” “Your room is always a mess;” “Can’t you do anything right?” “You’re just like your father” (which always seems to be said when the child has done something wrong); “Why can’t you be more like your sister (or brother)?” “You’ll never be an artist (or athlete, etc.);” “You just don’t try;” “You never listen to me;” “I tell you to do something and you do just the opposite;” “You never study;” “Your grades are atrocious;” “You talk too much;” “You always hang around with the wrong kind of friends;” “You don’t even know where home is anymore;” “You’re lazy;” “You don’t care about anyone but yourself;” “You’re determined to cause problems;” “You just don’t think,” and so on. And some children, even while you are reading this, are being told the most assuredly destructive words, “You’ll never amount to anything.”

When I read this I thought immediately about how my father used to talk to my mom and how that must have made her feel. Now, unfortunately, I find myself talking to Alex like this. I need to stop talking negatively about his weight and hair loss.