More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Read between
September 30, 2019 - December 13, 2020
When people ask me how I became a monk, the question is usually phrased something like, ‘So, you just walk up the hill, knock on the door and ask to become a monk, do you?’, and as ridiculous as that might sound, that’s exactly what you do.
Traditionally, meditation students were taught first how to approach the technique, then how to practise it, before finally learning how to integrate the techniques into their everyday lives.
Nothing kooky, nothing wacky, just straightforward tools that people could use to get some headspace.
Carrying a map is one thing, having someone to show you the way is quite another.
When you learnt to ride a bike, I’m sure you were simply shown how to ride the bike, not how you should use that ability.
In the same way that sitting at home reading a diet book while eating chunky chocolate fudge ice-cream is never going to make you any thinner, simply thinking about what’s written in this book is not going to give you any more headspace.
You may be wondering what happened next – did I really leave $500 floating in the toilet, or did I roll up my sleeves and do the unthinkable? Let’s just say I ended up going on that retreat.
You may be wondering what happened next – did I really leave $500 floating in the toilet, or did I roll up my sleeves and do the unthinkable? Let’s just say I ended up going on that retreat.
By changing the way in which you see the world, you effectively change the world around you.
By focusing less on your own worries and more on the potential happiness of others you actually create more headspace for yourself.
meditation, within a mindful context, was not about stopping thoughts and controlling the mind. It was a process of giving up control, of stepping back, learning how to focus the attention in a passive way, while simply resting the mind in its own natural awareness.
‘Happiness is just happiness,’ he went on, ‘no big deal. It comes and it goes. Sadness is just sadness, no big deal. It comes and it goes. If you can give up your desire to always experience pleasant things, at the same time as giving up your fear of experiencing unpleasant things, then you’ll have a quiet mind.’
‘When you experience discomfort in your meditation, whether it’s the restlessness of a busy mind, physical tension in the body, or a challenging emotion, I want you to imagine it’s the discomfort of the people you care about. It’s as if in an act of extraordinary generosity, you are sitting with their discomfort so they don’t have to.’
One of the most important was that the emotion itself is often not the problem. It’s the way we react to it that causes the problem.
Mindfulness is the willingness to rest in that natural state of awareness, resisting the temptation to judge whatever emotion comes up, and therefore neither opposing or getting carried away with a feeling. Meditation is simply the exercise that is going to give you the best conditions to practise being mindful of these emotions. And headspace is the result of applying this approach. Headspace does not mean being free from emotions, but rather existing in a place where you are at ease with whatever emotion is present.
they found that the meditators’ skin cleared at about four times the rate of the non-meditators’ skin.
‘Where have I been all my life?’
in fact it looks as though they could almost be competing to see who can walk the slowest.
We may feel desperate for more sleep, but the deep rest experienced in meditation is far more useful and beneficial than the extra ten minutes of sleep you would otherwise get.
As I mentioned earlier, there really is no such thing as good or bad meditation, just aware or unaware, distracted or undistracted.
It’s about developing a gentle curiosity: watching, noticing and observing what’s happening in every aspect of your life – how you act, how you speak, and how you think.
Mindfulness is about a fundamental shift in the way you relate to your thoughts and feelings.
But the analogy is important, because as long as you’re searching for happiness or headspace outside of yourself, it will only ever lead to a temporary end to depression.
