The Tools: 5 Tools to Help You Find Courage, Creativity, and Willpower--and Inspire You to Live Life in Forward Motion

by Phil Stutz

Sweet are the uses of adversity, Which like the toad, ugly and venomous, Wears yet a precious jewel in his head. —WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, AS YOU LIKE IT

The things which hurt, instruct. —BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

I was skeptical at first. I’d heard about turning problems into opportunities before, but no one had ever explained exactly how to do this.

If changing your life were only a matter of adjusting your attitude, you wouldn’t need this book. Real change requires you to change your behavior—not just your attitude.

Instead of asking, “Is there anything I can do about that problem?” you’ll learn to ask a very different question: “Which tool allows me to solve it?”

Pick something you hate doing. It could be traveling, meeting new people, family gatherings, etc. How do you organize your life so you can avoid doing it? Imagine that pattern is a place you hide in. That’s your Comfort Zone. What does it feel like?

“Alas for those that never sing, / But die with all their music in them.”

We’re trained as a society to expect, even demand, immediate gratification. And we have an extraordinary ability to rationalize this weakness. Instead of admitting we’re avoiding pain, we tell ourselves we’re being virtuous;

A sense of purpose doesn’t come from thinking about it. It comes from taking action that moves you toward the future. The moment you do this, you activate a force more powerful than the desire to avoid pain. We call this the “Force of Forward Motion.”

But I couldn’t get his crazy idea out of my mind; if you go right for the pain, you develop superpowers.

“The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too … raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.”

In contrast, the universe doesn’t care about our external success; its goal is to develop our inner strength. We care about what we achieve on the outside; the universe is interested in who we are on the inside.

Cues to Use the Tool 1. The first cue comes when you have to do something uncomfortable and you feel fear or resistance. Use the tool right before you act. 2. The second cue occurs whenever you think about doing something painful or difficult. If you use the tool every time you have these thoughts, you’ll build a force that will allow you to act when the time comes. The Tool in Brief 1. Focus on the pain you’re avoiding; see it appear in front of you as a cloud. Silently scream, “Bring it on!” to demand the pain; you want it because it has great value. 2. Scream silently, “I love pain!” as you keep moving forward. Move so deeply into the pain you’re at one with it. 3. Feel the cloud spit you out and close behind you. Say inwardly, “Pain sets me free!” As you leave the cloud, feel yourself propelled forward into a realm of pure light.

But the Maze is a threat to all relationships, not just marriage, because it warps your view of people. When you’re in the Maze, you literally forget everything good about the other person—all you can think about is the wrong he’s committed.

Active Love Imagine that you’re surrounded by a warm, liquid light that is infinitely loving. Feel your heart expand far beyond you to become one with this love. As you bring your heart back to normal size, this infinite energy concentrates itself inside your chest. It’s an unstoppably loving force that wants to give itself away. Focus on the person who’s triggered your anger. If they’re not physically in front of you (usually they’re not) then visualize their presence. Send all the love in your chest directly to them; hold nothing back. It’s like completely expelling a deep breath. Follow the love as it leaves your chest. When it enters the other person at their solar plexus, don’t just watch. Feel it enter. This will give you the sense you’re completely at one with them. Now relax—you’ll feel yourself again surrounded by infinite love, which will return to you all the energy you gave away. You’ll feel filled up and at peace.

Insecure people are so obsessed with how others perceive them that they give almost nothing of themselves. As a result, they feel even more alienated.

Go back to the feeling you had in the last exercise: you’re in front of a group of people who make you feel insecure and self-conscious. Focus on the emotions this brings up. Now push those feelings out in front of you and imagine they form a being with a face and body.

Watch little kids, particularly when they’re playing. They aren’t self-conscious or insecure. They express themselves freely and exuberantly. They almost never freeze.

Inner Authority Imagine that you’re standing in front of an audience of one or many. See an image of your Shadow off to one side, facing you. Ignore the audience completely and focus all of your attention on the Shadow. Feel an unbreakable bond between the two of you—as a unit you’re fearless. Together, you and the Shadow forcefully turn toward the audience and silently command them to “LISTEN!” Feel the authority that comes when you and your Shadow speak with one voice.

“The mind is its own place, and in itself / Can make a Heav’n of Hell, a Hell of Heav’n.”

Visualize everything that was happening around you. Focus on the gratefulness you were feeling at the time. Now, connect that gratefulness to the presence of an unimaginably generous force.

The Grateful Flow Pick out things in your life you can be grateful for—particularly things you’d normally take for granted. Say them to yourself silently, slowly enough to feel the value of each one. “I’m grateful for my eyesight; I’m grateful I have hot water,” etc. You should do this until you’ve mentioned at least five items—it takes less than thirty seconds. Feel the slight strain of your effort to find these items. You should feel the gratefulness you express flowing upward, directly from your heart. Then, when you’ve finished mentioning the specific items, your heart should continue to generate gratefulness, this time without words. The energy you are now giving out is the Grateful Flow. As this energy emanates from your heart, your chest will soften and open. In this state you’ll feel yourself approaching an overwhelming presence, filled with the power of infinite giving. You’ve made a connection to the Source.

Cues to Use the Tool 1. Use the Grateful Flow immediately whenever you are attacked by negative thoughts. If unchallenged, negative thinking will just get stronger. 2. Use the Grateful Flow any time your mind becomes undirected—when you’re on “hold” during a phone call, stuck in traffic, or standing in line at the market. 3. You can even make the tool part of your daily schedule. That turns specific times (waking up, going to sleep, mealtimes) into cues.

The enemy is called “consumerism.” It speaks to us through every advertisement, endorsement, logo, roadside billboard, etc. Its underlying message is always the same: there’s something out there you must have.

Trying to consume spirituality is like buying multiple GPS systems for your car and not learning to use any of them.

“Events are temporary. You need to find a permanent source of jeopardy. There’s only one thing you’re at risk of losing every moment.” “What is it?” “Your future.”

Jeopardy Imagine you can see far into the future. See yourself lying on your deathbed. This older self knows how crucial the present moment is, because he’s run out of them. You see him rouse himself from his bed and scream at you not to waste the present moment. You feel a deep, hidden fear that you’ve been squandering your life. This creates an urgent pressure to use—right now—the basic tool you selected above.

He doesn’t accept the world as he finds it; he brings things into the world that aren’t already there. He doesn’t follow the herd; he sets his own course. He ignores the reactions of others. He resists superficial distractions. He remains focused on his goals even if he has to sacrifice his immediate gratification.

“Happiness does not consist in laziness.… In labour and in sweat must each man use the gifts that God conferred upon him on earth, …”

The Tool in Brief See yourself lying on your deathbed. Having run out of time, this older self screams at you not to waste the present moment. You feel a deep, hidden fear that you’ve been squandering your life. This creates an urgent desire to use whichever basic tool you need at that moment.

“Do you feel like everything you’ve ever believed was wrong?” he asked. I nodded. “Congratulations,” he said warmly. “You’ve been introduced to the spirituality of the future.”

I didn’t realize it at the time, but this loss of connection to the outside world was the most important thing that had ever happened to me.

evolution can carry us only so far without our active participation.

evolution now requires that we give the best of ourselves, not because an outer event compels us to do so, but because we choose to do so of our own free will.

we need to teach ourselves to accept all ideas, including the ones that offend us the most.