Double messages, such as when the abuser says, “I’m not mad! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” while he sounds mad and does know what he’s talking about, are always confusing. Now, by giving your feelings and perceptions priority, double messages will not betray you. For example, if you hear his anger even when he says he’s not angry, your perception of his anger takes priority over his words. You know he is angry because you hear his anger.
