Joy Harris

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If he yells at her, she may believe that it is because he feels in some way hurt by something she said or did. She may also believe that he wants to know what she really said or did, so he’ll know she really loves him and his hurt will be gone. In this way the partner fits what she is hearing into her reality of empathetic concern.
The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond
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